Monday of Holy Week - April 11, 2022
I hadn’t much cared for the story of Lazarus the last couple
of years. In fact, I didn’t much care for any of Jesus’s miracles or healing
stories. These accounts begged the question tormenting me the most. In 2020,
our young son Peter died. So, why was Lazarus saved and Peter not? Why are some
people cured of blindness and others not? For that matter, why are people blind
at all in a world with a loving God? Why do bad things happen to so many
people?
My trusty tools—reason and logic—were not giving me answers.
Peter’s death conflicted with how I thought the world worked. During my grief
though, other experiences made me feel hopeful, held, and trusting amid this
horrific suffering. These events too did not conform to my epistemology—I was
trained to trust what I could prove and to discount what I could not. But, they
happened. Life was not comporting with my ideological framework.
Today’s Gospel lays out a framework for a deeper faith. Some
turned to Jesus’s message of love because they could not dismiss an experience
they observed, despite obvious conflict with most people’s
understanding—Lazarus was dead, and people don’t rise from the dead. Others,
namely the High Priests, were unable or unwilling to trust the Lazarus
experience and, thus, Jesus’s message. The lens through which they took in the
world was so narrowed by bias in favor of power that it screened out Truth.
They, as the poet WH Auden observes, may be among those who “would rather be
ruined than changed.”
The Gospels and our lives are riddled with contradictions
and challenges to our worldview. Despite
my son’s death, I somehow have more faith and trust now than I did when my life
was what I had wished. This Gospel asks us to surrender our filters—biases
which favor conforming to conventional beliefs, comfort, or power. The Gospel invites us to observe our
experiences and interactions and seek the salve that soothed while asking those
unanswerable questions: the miracle of grace.
sean foley: Husband to Erin;
Father to Eamon, Peter, and Conall; Assistant United States Attorney for the
U.S. Department of Justice in Kansas City.
Q: How can I
surrender my filters and biases and give up my doubts and suffering to God?
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