Fifth Sunday of Lent - March 21, 2021

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Ezekiel 37:12-14 Romans 8:8-11 John 11:1-45

This past year gave my little family a run for our money, as I’m sure it did to a lot of people. Back in April, we found out that our daughter, Avalyn, has a genetic brain disease called Leigh’s Syndrome. This disease will result in a short life span of around 3-5 years. To a parent, there is no news more devastating to hear. My first thought was that God had given me such a huge responsibility. It wasn’t enough to just have a child to take care of, but now I have a child with special needs who depends on me for every aspect of care.

I’ve always loved the phrase, “God never gives you more than you can handle.” If that’s true, he must think I’m REALLY strong. When you get such devastating news, all these questions start to run through your mind and the anger starts to creep in: Why my child? Why my family? What did we do to deserve this? All the uncertainty can eat you alive and start to harden you. 

Then, I was asked to write a reflection for the Lenten Booklet. God works in mysterious ways because somehow I was given the perfect Responsorial Psalm to reflect on. The response is, “Create a clean heart in me, O God.” “Give me back the joy of your salvation, and a willing spirit sustain in me.” I need all the negativity, doubt, and fear pulled out of my heart to make room for all of the love and salvation to be poured in from the Lord. When your heart is hardened, you can’t be grateful for all the blessings He has provided for you.

Everyone has hardships and struggles they have to overcome. When we focus on the negative, it shadows all the light in our lives. I have a beautiful daughter who is the joy of my life. I’m going to treasure every moment that I have with her. The next time you feel buried by all those doubts, fears, anger, and resentment, ask God for a clean heart.

Q: What fears and anger am I experiencing in my life? How have they affected my relationship with someone in my life? My relationship with God? Does it feel like my heart has hardened? How can God help to create a “clean heart” in me?

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